1. |
Even in McLeansboro
02:20
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The population of this town is 3000
I don't want to get to know all of them.
The ones I've met so far have yet to excite
me to laughter like when I'm alone with you.
I guess deep down I just really wanna bone you
but I'd honestly be okay with just being
in your sight tonight
cause I don't like anybody else in this whole town.
I don't like anybody else.
No I don't like anybody else in this whole town.
I don't like anybody else.
I think I understand voyeurism
cause I wish I could watch you do everything.
I swear I wouldn't see you in a different light.
And maybe I'm just bored and alone
but I know if I was with you I'd be less lonely
cause just being with you gives me a contact high
cause I don't like anybody else in this whole town.
I don't like anybody else.
No I don't like anybody else in this whole town.
I don't like anybody else.
So won't you kill a little time
just so I can remind
myself that beauty can grow
even in this hellhole?
Kill a little time
just so I can remind
myself that beauty can grow
even in McLeansboro.
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2. |
That Girl
04:07
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I'm at a party with a couple of friends.
I hate them all I hope the alcohol can help.
A girl comes up and she falls on me.
She laughs in my ear, she steps on my feet.
She looks at me and she says "You're cute."
She turns around again and pukes.
Her friends say "Someone needs to take her home.
We're all way to drunk to go."
I say "Okay, I've only had a few."
I get her in my car with a bag in case she spews.
She says "Hold on I have to pee."
She goes outside and pisses in the weeds.
I help her back in and I ask her for
her address. “What do you wanna know that for?"
I said "I'm gonna take you home."
She says "Take me with you. I don't wanna be alone."
She's that girl, gotta keep her on her feet;
her hair soaked in vomit piss dripping in her jeans.
She's that girl rollin round on the floor
having such a good time she wont remember in the morning.
She's that girl, gotta keep her on her feet;
her hair soaked in vomit piss dripping in her jeans.
She's that girl rollin round on the floor
having such a good time she wont remember in the morning.
We get to my house she falls through the door.
She rolls around laughing on the floor.
She does that for an hour or two.
She takes of her clothes to show me her tattoos.
She starts to cry, and I ask what's her deal.
She looks at me and says hold me please.
The world is sick and my head is weak.
The bed is spinning and I have to pee.
She says she doesn't wanna be grown up.
Nobody ever cares guys only wanna fuck.
She tells me she's sick and she tells me she's sad,
she tells me she hates her stupid fucking dad.
I lift up her head, my hand through her hair
and say “There will always be people who care.
people who will always treat her right.”
She says “I'm so glad that I found you tonight.”
She's that girl, gotta keep her on her feet;
her hair soaked in vomit piss dripping in her jeans.
She's that girl rollin round on the floor
having such a good time she wont remember in the morning.
She's that girl, gotta keep her on her feet;
her hair soaked in vomit piss dripping in her jeans.
She's that girl rollin round on the floor
having such a good time she wont remember in the morning.
Shes so far gone, she's so fucked up, she's running from her problems and she's looking for some fun.
And when she wakes up in the morning
I guess it's okay if she doesn't even know me.
Shes so far gone, she's so fucked up,
she's running from her problems and she's looking for some fun.
And when she wakes up in the morning
I guess it's okay if she doesn't even know me.
She's that girl, gotta keep her on her feet;
her hair soaked in vomit piss dripping in her jeans.
She's that girl rollin round on the floor
having such a good time she wont remember in the morning.
She's that girl, gotta keep her on her feet;
her hair soaked in vomit piss dripping in her jeans.
She's that girl rollin round on the floor
having such a good time she wont remember in the morning.
I wake up some time around noon.
My arms are around her, my face is in her boobs.
She starts to stir and opens her eyes.
“Aw shit" she mumbles "Who the fuck is this guy?"
She puts on her clothes and heads for the door.
She doesn't want to be with me anymore.
Her shirt on backwards, no apology
for the big piss puddle she left on my sheets.
Only I have a memory
of the conversation we had last night where we
told each other about our fears
and held each other and shared our tears.
I kissed her softly and held her close
and fell asleep in all of my clothes,
but now she's gone and tonight she'll be
someone else's responsibility.
She's that girl, gotta keep her on her feet;
her hair soaked in vomit piss dripping in her jeans.
She's that girl rollin round on the floor
having such a good time she wont remember in the morning.
She's that girl, gotta keep her on her feet;
her hair soaked in vomit piss dripping in her jeans.
She's that girl rollin round on the floor
having such a good time she wont remember in the morning.
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3. |
Freak
02:51
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If my house burned down and I was asleep
and I woke up amongst all the flames
and I felt my way out with my skin
melting off my bones like plastic -
intensive burn unit horrible pain
my parents won't stop crying -
would you visit me and look at my face
without getting sick?
If I lose my face will you look at me
as though I'm not a freak?
and If I lose my arms will you hold me tight
even though I cannot hold you back?
If I lose my voice will you listen to me
even though I cannot speak and
if I lost my legs will you be my friend
despite all that I lack?
If I drove home drunk and I wrecked my car
and I lost both of my arms,
never dress myself or wipe my own ass,
all it being nothing but my fault -
all consuming guilt for my stupid actions,
wish I could take it all back,
would you hold my hand even though it's just
figuratively?
Or if I had a stroke and I couldn't speak
and my left side is immobile -
I'm not retarded I can still think,
but when I try to talk I gurgle.
Or if I break my legs in a million spots
so both of them are worthless -
would you push my chair, would you still care,
and be my friend regardless?
If I lose my face will you look at me
as though I'm not a freak?
and If I lose my arms will you hold me tight
even though I cannot hold you back?
If I lose my voice will you listen to me
even though I cannot speak and
if I lost my legs will you be my friend
despite all that I lack?
If I'm squirting puss, if I'm all messed up,
if I speak in tongues, if I'm just all nubs,
I'm just a head and I'm better off dead
would you still be my best friend?
If I'm squirting puss, if I'm all messed up,
if I speak in tongues, if I'm just all nubs,
I'm just a head and I'm better off dead
would you still be my best friend?
There's not a lot that I can do
if you should choose to leave me.
I'm gonna miss you if you go
but I would understand you.
I don't need pity or sympathy
I've got enough of that on my own.
I just need you to look past my scars
so maybe I can learn to.
If I lose my face will you look at me
as though I'm not a freak?
and If I lose my arms will you hold me tight
even though I cannot hold you back?
If I lose my voice will you listen to me
even though I cannot speak and
if I lost my legs will you be my friend
despite all that I lack?
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4. |
Lost for Chords
02:15
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These chords are gonna kill me, aren't they?
These words aren't gonna heal a damn thing.
My problems can't be solved in one verse.
All my issues out of context are worthless.
This is all I've got for you to wrap your mind around.
This is all I'm good for. Now I'm trying to wind it down.
Maybe you'll remember me and keep me from vanishing.
I always live inside my songs but never in reality
Cause all I see is a life worth losing.
All I feel is the pain of choosing
life over love, over friends and over fun.
I'm choosing life over love, over friends,
and over hanging out with you.
I can tell you're getting bored cause we're falling in routine
but I can't always be super entertaining.
As a matter of fact, sometimes I think I lack
the ability to be what you consider normal for a human being.
When the high we got when we would get together at the start
of this begins to fade as if the world is tearing us apart
you gotta realize that love early on is just a trance.
We're all just reaching out for whatever's convenient.
All I see is a life worth losing.
All I feel is the pain of choosing
life over love, over friends and over fun.
Choosing life over love, over friends,
and over fucking you.
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5. |
Monster
02:42
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I'm a disappointment to myself
my mind keeps running back and forth
between depression and true happiness
between beautiful eloquence
and hideous incoherence.
I cannot be held accountable
for my results.
My actions are all the proof
that I've got to show to keep on going.
I can't stop now
but can't I just please slow down?
I never thought that I would see the Devil
But now I feel his presence everywhere.
He lives in the eyes of the vacant -
those numb to the world can inflict the most pain.
Am I still preaching to the choir
when I say I wanna set the whole world on fire?
Funding's been cut.
We're losing our minds.
Hey! I'm the child that you left behind!
So I will be the monster
that you've always wanted.
I will counterbalance
everything you trust in.
Make myself a scapegoat
for your losses.
Hold your fire people,
there are no hostiles here.
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6. |
Tip the Balance
03:11
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Tell me how long, tell me how long have we got?
Just tell me how long can we go on without collapsing?
Tell me how strong my opinions have to be
to change the whole world and end this scourge of human greed.
Can we evolve enough to solve our own species's problems
or are we too far gone to accomplish
anything but what hurts?
Can we only do worse?
Has the experiment failed?
Is life just a curse?
Cause when I tip the balance it's like every challenge
becomes one of a thousand, they just keep on adding up
until there's nothing I can do but pray I won't be held accountable
for all of my debts that have become insurmountable.
The quality of life must depend on who's paying
cause the more I try to live the harder life is to maintain.
When I tip the balance it's like every challenge
becomes one of a thousand.
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7. |
Junior Year
01:38
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It's too late and I'm too tired to fight against the way I'm hardwired.
I could live entire weeks without really much thought.
But all I know is we were all sixteen
sitting on my couch to fucked up to do anything
but mumble to each other our hearts and heads racing
talking of the obstacles we've had to face,
and I've never said “dude” that many times in my life
and we all connected that night we got high.
I don't remember what you said exactly.
It's such a shame how nothing good lasts
Cause after a while our feet hit the ground
cause we all fall together when it's time to come down
and I found myself the next afternoon
sitting on my bed alone in my room
and I wished that I was still sitting on that couch
ripped to the gills with my best friends
and I wish we could still share this kind of connection
even long after the high ends
but it's too late and I'm too tired
to fight against the way I'm hard wired.
I could live entire weeks without really much thought.
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8. |
This is Not a Threat
02:08
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If there's at least one thing that I really learned from my dad,
it's that if I hit you once you'll probably hit me back.
And if I swing at you and manage to miss by a tad
you'll probably swing as well and actually make contact.
My mom will cry if she sees that you knocked out a tooth
just because one of us let our anger hit the roof.
So you may call me yellow bellied and you might be right,
but I thought I told you that I'm not supposed to fight.
I thought I told you that I'm not supposed to fight.
I thought I told you that I'm not supposed to fight.
I thought I told you that I'm not supposed to fight you.
I thought I told you that I'm not supposed to fight.
I thought I told you that I'm not supposed to fight.
I thought I told you that I'm not supposed to fight you anyway.
I ain't what you say what you say what you say I be.
I hate what you say what you say what you say to me.
I ain't what you say what you say what you say I be.
I hate what you say what you say what you say to me.
I ain't what you say what you say what you say I be.
I hate what you say what you say what you say to me.
I ain't what you say what you say what you say I be.
I hate what you say what you say what you say to me.
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9. |
Yuppie Crack
02:05
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Like a junkie on a binge you're just snowing yourself into
a life in the game that you're never gonna win.
You can follow the leader, let them put you in your place
until success is so close that you can almost fucking taste it,
but all of your leaders and all of your elders
see you as competition trying to take
their position their rank and their stature.
To them you're just another hopeless fake
and if you had the funds to prove them wrong
then the climb you're facing wouldn't
take quite nearly half as long.
But you're a nobody to the ones in charge
and if you want someone to notice you
you'll have to change everything
about who you are.
First off you'll stop being honest
with the collards around -
white as snow, like a leash
Windsor knotted to the ground.
Learn to play, learn to lie
to yourself and your surroundings.
What you call staying afloat
will reign synonymous with drowning.
Run to stay in the eye
of the storm where it's calmest,
once you've stopped seeing rainclouds
then you've stopped being honest
with yourself and your surroundings,
for six figures but who's counting?
I might be caught in the rain
but you're the one who's drowning
and one day you'll try to make it back
to a life where you weren't so hopelessly addicted to your cash
but your map home is wet and ripped and torn.
Maybe then you'll see that you shouldn't have run.
That you should have been a man and embraced the storm.
Instead you stop being honest with the collards around -
white as snow, like a leash Windsor knotted to the ground.
Learn to play, learn to lie to yourself and your surroundings.
What you call staying afloat will reign synonymous with drowning.
Run to stay in the eye of the storm where it's calmest,
once you've stopped seeing rainclouds
then you've stopped being honest
with yourself and your surroundings,
for six figures but who's counting?
I might be caught in the rain
but you're the one who's drowning.
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10. |
Behind the Counter
02:50
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I get paid slave wages just to get pushed around
by the arrogant assholes that work on the market
pushing me when I'm already down
cause their formal job title seems to give them the right
to look me in the eyes and spit in my face.
Reprimanded by my boss and the public
for every simple and honest mistake.
But it's okay because I'm not human,
I'm just a robot I'm not real.
Nothing behind these eyes but dead space,
I don't know how to feel.
It's okay because I'm not human.
My life's purpose is serving you.
I don't have a real heart or a real mind.
I don't have dreams like you.
They shovel in fists full of meat on their lunch break
to keep their bodies alive long enough
to push around papers working in the office.
Obviously that life just isn't enough
cause I see a side of people that you will never see
in public or at parties, but it's right in my face.
Their veins pop out of their necks and voices raise
as they get their rocks off correcting my mistakes.
But it's okay because I'm not human,
I'm just a robot I'm not real.
Nothing behind these eyes but dead space,
I don't know how to feel.
It's okay because I'm not human.
My life's purpose is serving you.
I don't have a real heart or a real mind.
I don't have dreams like you.
So knock me off of my pedestal
and bring me back to reality.
You're right I'm just a piece of shit,
thank you so much for reminding me.
So knock me off of my pedestal
and bring me back to reality.
You're right I'm just a piece of shit,
thank you so much for reminding me.
But it's okay because I'm not human,
I'm just a robot I'm not real.
Nothing behind these eyes but dead space,
I don't know how to feel.
It's okay because I'm not human.
My life's purpose is serving you.
I don't have a real heart or a real mind.
I don't have dreams like you.
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11. |
Your God Sucks
01:53
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Everywhere I look I see idols before me.
Who the hell are you and what can all of you bastards teach me?
Anything at all? Or are you just blocking my light?
My knees won't bend the way you want.
I won't go down without a fight
cause I'm not gonna worship your gods.
I'm not gonna be who you are.
I'm not gonna build myself according to thee.
It's a pretty good hypothesis
but I feel another process is
what's gonna be the thing that's going to save me.
Everyday I live is just another chance to
get on your god's bad side if he's really watching everything
if anything at all. It wouldn't be the first time I've been lied to.
My knees wont bend the way you want.
I won't go down without a fight
cause I'm not gonna worship your gods.
I'm not gonna be who you are.
I'm not gonna build myself according to thee.
It's a pretty good hypothesis
but I feel another process is
what's gonna be the thing that's going to save me.
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12. |
Coming Down
00:55
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13. |
Losing Faith
01:43
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Using language from the world I came from.
We're not marching to the beat of the same drum.
Bridge the gap and bring us together.
We never quite make it, but aren't we so clever?
Cross the ocean for strange looks and face.
I get enough of those in my own nation.
“What're ya doing son?”
Officer I'm just trying to have some fun
is that a crime?
Can you hear me? Can you feel me?
Is your mind picking up on the signal I'm feeding?
Am I dead? Is this on? A song plays in my head
and I just sing along.
Can you hear me? Can you feel me?
Is your mind picking up on the signal I'm feeding?
Am I dead? Is this on? A song plays in my head
and I just sing along. I'm just singing along.
Ignore the bad things and just look into me.
Why won't you listen? I'm not the enemy.
I'm on your side, this is not right
for you to hate me cause I'm just trying to do what's right.
Just look at me for once. You've gotta make a choice
to listen to your friends or listen to the noise.
To forget everything, even forget my voice.
What the fuck is even the point?
Can you hear me? Can you feel me?
Is your mind picking up on the signal I'm feeding?
Am I dead? Is this on? A song plays in my head
and I just sing along.
Can you hear me? Can you feel me?
Is your mind picking up on the signal I'm feeding?
Am I dead? Is this on? A song plays in my head
and I just sing along. I'm just singing along.
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14. |
Spiderwebs
02:59
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With a higher understanding of vocabulary
and a whole new library of feelings,
experiences stored away like old books
but I haven't found any real new meanings
to the problems of past cause they don't seem to last
much longer than I ever want to let them.
So why am I allowing myself to be ruled by problems
at this very second?
A spider builds its web outside my window.
I've never worked that fucking hard in my life.
So why do I feel so damn exhausted?
I thought I would rather not sleep for a while.
If thinking is optional, I'll take the option not to.
I'll take anything if it means I'll be free
of any bad thoughts that could ruin it all.
Tell my mind to shut up because it's killing me
and when we come back
wake me up last.
And when it's time for life to start
wake me up last,
cause dreaming is my favorite part of this.
A spider builds its web outside my window.
I've never worked that fucking hard in my life.
So why do I feel so damn exhausted?
I thought I would rather not breathe for a while.
If thinking is optional, I'll take the option not to.
I'll take anything if it means I'll be free
of any bad thoughts that could ruin it all.
Tell my mind to shut up because it's killing me
and when we come back
wake me up last.
And when it's time for life to start
wake me up last,
cause dreaming is my favorite part of this.
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Yellow Belly Carbondale, Illinois
i don't want to bring you down, but i want to make you think.
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